Oh Canada

It’s no secret that I love my country.

All ready to go for Canada Day 2012

Sure it has its thorns, but you can find those anywhere. And I’m convinced that there’s something about living in a foreign country that makes you see your home through rose-coloured glasses.

So when my friend Paul asked if he could be on my blog, I figured his talents would be best put to use writing a tribute to my fair country (his qualifications for this task: an uncanny ability to list famous Canadians and a penchant for quoting Wayne Gretzky whenever possible). The poem was supposed to be written for Canada Day, but I guess you can’t trust an Englishman to remember Canada’s national holiday (they can barely remember their own…)

But now, without further ado, I (we) present:

A Poem for Canada

 

Here’s  my  ode  to  Canada,  a  place  I’ve  never  been

A  land  where  Gretzky  is  the  king,  and  people  love  The  Queen

 

I  hear  it’s  very  beautiful,  I  know  it’s  far  away

I’m  told  it’s  multicultural,  et  là  ils  parlent  français

 

In  Canada,  the  men  are  men,  tough  with  nerves  of  steel

They  all  know  how  to  fell  a  tree  and  kill  a  baby  seal

 

From  Avril  to  Pam  Anderson,  the  girls  are  very  cute

I  love  the  way  that  they  say  ‘eh’  and  how  they  say  ‘aboot’

 

Of  sexy  singing  superstars,  this  country  has  no  lack:

Carly  Rae,  Michael  Bublé,  the  guys  from  Nickelback

 

Bryan  Adams,  K  D  Lang,  Alanis  Morissette

Justin  Beiber,  BNL,  I  haven’t  finished  yet

 

Joni  Mitchel,  Neil  Young,  the  list  goes  on  and  on

Of  course  it  would  be  incomplete  without  Celine  Dion

 

Canada’s  a  country  punching  well  above  its  weight

In  terms  of  size,  it’s  number  two,  but  number  one  for  great

 

It’s  fun  and  friendly,  free  and  fair,  a  country  in  its  prime

It’s  kind  of  like  America,  without  the  violent  crime

 

In  this  divine  democracy,  delightful  people  dwell

So  far  not  one  Canadian  was  ever  sent  to  hell

 

Yes,  everyone  is  perfect  in  this  friendly  fairytale

I  know  ‘cos  I’ve  been  told  so  by  miss  L____  F______-­‐S___

 

And  if  she  lets  me  on  her  lake  and  lends  me  her  canoe

O  Canada  O  Canada  I’ll  stand  on  guard  for  you

 

O  Canada,  close  to  my  heart  despite  being  far  away

I  know  we’ll  be  together  soon,  won’t  that  be  awesome  eh?